Come back to me
by Down the gutter I go
Summary: During the Maggie & Glen rescue mission, Daryl has to choose between his brother and the group. Carol is devastated.
1. Chapter 1

The scenery didn't change no matter how long or how hard Carol stared at it. It was just an empty dirtroad through a field full of walkers that lead to the woods. It was from there she willed the car to return with all of them in it. Next to her was Carl who shared the same thought. He wanted his dad to return in one piece. Losing one parent had been hard enough. Fidgeting with the weapons in their hands, they had been standing at the gates of the prison, hoping and praying everyone came back fairly unscathed. Nervous butterflies made somersaults in her stomach. She tried calming them down by taking deep breaths, but it didn't seem to help. Mere minutes seemed to creep by like hours.

It was an exceptionally dangerous rescue mission they had gone on. A lot different from the regular runs they made. This time, they had to go into hostile territory to collect Maggie and Glen who were held there against their will. And no one knew before hand what state they were in and if they were even alive in the first place.

Finally the roar of a car engine could be heard from a distance. Carol stood on tiptoes and craned her neck to see if it was them. Yes, thank God, there was the car! Quickly both she and Carl ran up to the gate to open it and let the car through.

Rick was behind the wheel; Carl was instantly reassured his dad was ok. He put the car in park and got out. Michonne stepped out of the front passenger seat. Carol ran to the back of the car and peered in, hands on the window. She could see Glen and Maggie. They looked to be in pretty bad shape, but they were alive and back with them! But frantically searching further, she was missing one other person. The most important one to her. Her heart stopped dead in its track. "Where's Daryl?", she asked with a tense voice, at no one in particular. She just wanted an answer, it didn't matter who gave it to her. Panic was already setting in. Was he hurt? Bitten? Shot? Left behind? What?

On the other side of the car, Hershel welcomed Maggie and Glen; he too was relieved they were back. Rick had already anticipated Carol's reaction. He let go of Carl and walked up to her like a messenger of bad news would do, with his hand out to comfort her. That wasn't a good sign.

"It's alright... he's alive", he started. _Ok_, she though to herself, _so where is he? You'd better not left him somewhere! _But she quickly dismissed that thought; Rick would never do that to Daryl. They were too loyal toward eachother. She looked him in the face, pleading without words for more information. "We ran into his brother. They went off." Processing this news, she stared at Rick, not knowing what to think. When it sank in, she fell quiet. She was in disbelief. "They left?", she repeated to check if she'd heard him right. "Daryl left?... what,... like, he's gone...?! Is he coming back? ". The last question went unanswered by Rick. Every time Daryl'd go on a run, she'd prepare herself mentally that he might not return. It was a defense mechanism. She knew the day would come someone was going to give her news like this. She was prepared again now, but not for this. She was plain shocked. She realised all too quickly what this meant.

He wasn't coming back. He'd left without saying goodbye. He was presented with a choice and he had chosen his brother over them. Over her. She'd never see him again. She started crying, hand over her mouth, the tears just came. He was gone! He'd left them... She just couldn't believe it. "GONE?", she asked Rick again. Rick walked up toward the prison with her. He stopped her to hug her, he also knew what it meant. To the group and to her. He felt sorry for Carol, for all of them. Daryl had been an important member of the group and he would be missed.

Carol walked up to her cell and sat down on the bed. What the hell... she still couldn't believe this. That he would make a choice, just like that, pack up his stuff and leave. She knew he didn't owe her anything, but they had always shared a special bond. It was unspoken, but both their actions toward eachother made that clear. She felt like, she deserved more than this. She felt abandoned by the most important person in her life. Tears swelled up again and she sat there for the longest time. Alone in her cell. Alone. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

Carol woke up with a start, in de middle of the night. Panting, bathing in sweat, she just had the worst dream. It was about...about, but then she realised it wasn't a dream at all and again she had the wind knocked out of her again. He was gone. He had left them. She was never going to see him again. She would never know if he was alright. She shook her head in disbelief; this wasn't happening. But it was.

Laying there in the darkness, she let her conversation with Rick run through her mind. After they came back inside the prison, they all tended to Maggie and Glen's wounds. Gave them food and drink and listened to their story. Carol had only half paid attention; she had been too distracted. When they came to the end, she asked Rick to talk to her and fill her in about what happened.

Merle had played a big part in the torture of Glen. Some time ago, he also had worked over Michonne pretty badly. But when push came to shove he did help them get out of Woodbury. Once they had gotten to safety, a discussion had ensued about what to do with Merle. Rick wouldn't allow him into the prison. He was too much of a liability. Daryl didn't want to leave his brother on his own. Merle had riled up Daryl and had laughed at them discussing the situation. Rick had even had to knock Merle out to shut him up. Daryl had been pissed off at all of them and was dissapointed that Merle wasn't allowed to come with him. Like Merle helping them hadn't given him any credit. Rick, Maggie and Glen had hoped to come to some sort of an agreement, but Daryl wasn't listening. It had always been Merle and him, even before the outbreak. It would be like that again, so he exclaimed. So, he had picked up his backpack out of the car and they had taken off into the woods.

To Carol this all was still completely inconceivable. They were a family. They had been through hell and back to get where they were now and he would just leave it all behind. _For Merle. _The world had never seen a bigger asshole than Merle Dixon. He would get into your head and make you believe you deserved the abuse you got from him. He would poison Daryl with his vile words and it would break him. She hoped she knew Daryl well enough to think he would stand up for himself and come back to them. To her. He must. She tried to get back to sleep, but it wouldn't come.

In the days that followed, she had trouble getting out of bed. She just didn't want to and lacked all motivation to get up and do something useful. It took every once of energy she had to get dressed and put on a brave face. There were plenty of things to be done around the prison. But now, it all seemed pointless. She had lost her lust for life and it scared her. The weather was beautiful, they were in a safe place with plenty of food. There were enough aspects of life to still be grateful for, but she had lost sight of them.  
Grieving for the loss of Daryl also brought back feelings of loss of Sophia. Her sense of loneliness he had taken away; it had come back with a vengance. During the day she would flee to her cell two, three times to cry. She would feel desperate at those moments. Praying to get her strength back to make it through.

She would do her chores. She was there, but she wasn't really. It was obvious to the others her mind was elsewhere. The worry was killing her. If he'd go on a run, she knew the stress would be temporary, now, it would be permanent. She would never know of he was alright. If he was eating enough, if he didn't get hurt by Merle or someone else. She would stand at the gates and stare out into the field again, hoping to catch a glimpse. Maybe Daryl and Merle had stayed close by. But she never saw him.

She was also eaten up by regret. Now, he'd never know what he meant to her. And how much he had meant to her. She regretted not telling him. Not hugging him. Now, she would never know if they had ever had a chance together. A chance for a better life. A chance to love again.  
She felt a lot of things, but she wasn't angry with him. She understood the choice he had made and it was his to make. It had nothing to do with her. He had his code and he lived by it. Some of the people she talked with just after his leaving, tried to pry statements out of her. They wanted to know if she was angry because he left. They were a lot weaker now, that he was gone. But no, she defended him, still. Just now, words were the only weapons she had left.


	3. Chapter 3

Days had gone by and her sadness subsided. She had given herself a kick in the butt; she needed to get on with her life. With dangers all around you, there isn't much time for self-pity. She still missed him and had a lot of questions that would probably never be answered, but it wasn't the crippling can't-get-out-of-bed sorrow anymore.  
Most days she thought about him, what he wondering where he was, but they were fleeting thoughts. They didn't dominate her existence any longer. She knew she was a different person than she was just a few years ago. She had expierenced a lot of loss and pain, but it had made her a lot stronger and tougher. Regaining her confidence, she got the show back on the road.  
On some days, she was angry. Sometimes at herself, sometimes at him. Her life didn't depend on Daryl Dixon, well, most of the time it didn't. They had a good group at the prison, they would be alright. So, her shot at love had gone out the window. There might be a new opportunity around the corner. Or was it even wise to have a love interest in this day and age? It could make you weak and vulnarable and since death could be a second away, so could grief and suffering be waiting for you. Maybe it was best she was on her own like this. Unattatched. She cared for the people in the group, like family, but she didn't care for them like she did for Daryl. Daryl was in a league of his own. He had been soulmate-material. She could do it on her own, with all the knowlegde she had gained while she had been around him. She'd rather them being together, but it was obvious that wasn't going to happen anymore. There was no point hanging on to a memory or something that coulda-mighta been. She let him go.

One day, it was about a week after he left, she was in her cell. For some undefined reason, she wanted to rearrange it. She laughed at herself and blamed her hormones. She wanted to change something, so she wouldn't be reminded of the past so much. This was her life now, right now. The bunkbed needed to be on the other side of the room, like the closet and the desk. And she put away Sophia's doll. In stead, she pinned some old photographs of the both of them on the wall. The Cherokee roses had been replaced by wildflowers that grew in the prisonfield. She'd put up a bedsheet for some privacy. She wanted it all to be more "girlie" somehow, but she didn't have the posessions left to spice it up.  
Pulling on the bunkbed, which was a heavy mother, she was panting from the strain, when she heard a familiar voice behind her. "Need a hand?", followed by a cackle. She held on to the bedpost and turned her head. Daryl was standing in her doorway, holding up the sheet. He was sweaty and dirty. Smirk on his face, like they'd seen eachother this morning and now he was taking the piss out of her. He did that regurlarly. He let go of the bedsheet and walked away. Leaving her in the cell, she was perplexed. What the hell was going on? Was he gone or not? Did he come back? Make up your mind, man! This emotional rollercoaster wasn't good for her well-being!  
She rushed out of the cell, to see where he went, if it was even him and her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. Turning her head right, she caught the last glimpse of his back, before he turned the corner, to say "hello" to others of the group. "Daryl!", she called after him, but he didn't respond. She stopped dead in her tracks. She needed to think this over. Was she going after him? Literally? Or was she really as strong as she'd like to think? Was she going to sit this out and wait for him to come to her? For now, she figured that was the best move. She'd flirted with him on numerous occasions, now it was up to him.

Because she had been in her cell, Carol had missed the commotion that had ensued outside the prisonfield earlier that afternoon. Rick had had a Lori-hallucination and had tried talking to her, putting himself in between the walkers. Just at the moment he was pushed against the fence by two of them, Daryl had come out of the woods to his rescue. One got an arrow to the head, the other was slaughtered by a very riled-up Merle. When danger was over, they had all come back inside the prison.  
Daryl had explained to Rick, he had had enough of Merle's shenanigans and wasn't putting up with them anymore. Merle was very different from the person Daryl had evolved into. Daryl had already been irritated by Merle's sense of self-entitlement the same day he went seperate ways from Rick. But he tried to stick it out. It wasn't workin. He realised after listening to Merle yapping all day, he was with the wrong crowd. He decided to go back to the prison, back to his real family. Merle knew the group at the prison wasn't going to accept him as one of their own, but he tagged along anyway. Again, he had helped out when Rick was in trouble. So, they'd let him in, but in a seperate section of the prison. Merle had a nack for making people very uncomfortable, very fast. Rick wanted him away from the women and children of the group.

Daryl was relieved to be back. He didn't have to listen to Merle's persistent bullshit any longer. People at the prison were talking sense. His being away made him think about a lot of different things. The prison itself and the appreciation he had for the safetly it had provided over the last months. Having a group of people around meant everyone could do something to help out. On the outside, he had to worry about not drinking polluted water, making a bed every night and be scared about having his throat slit in the night by some creep. Not even thinking about all the walkers out there.

And there was Carol. He left without even a chance of saying goodbye to her. He acted tough towards Glen, Maggie and Rick when they split up, claiming she would understand. But would she? He wasn't so sure. They had something special. He was just too big an ass to do something about it. And now, it was never going to happen while he kept hanging out with his dipshit brother. When it came to Carol; she was the one he had missed the most.

So, when he got back inside, she was the first one he wanted to talk to, to tell her he was back. They would all work something out, when it came to Merle. At least he was back. He walked in, looked around and when he couldn't find her walked up to het cell. He peeked behind the sheet, when he heard panting. Maybe this was a bad time for her... But to his surprise, she was pulling on her bunkbed. Why the hell would she do that? Her cell looked different since the last time he saw it. Almost homely. He smiled at her, but she didn't seem very pleased to see him. We walked off, pretty bummed he didn't get the welcoming he was hoping for. He went on to greet the rest of the group and didn't see her the rest of the day.

He woke in the night, couldn't sleep. He wanted to talk to her. Tell her about his experiences outside the prison. He wanted to hear her opinion on Merle. He wanted her. Damn woman, with her games. Ok, she would win.

Carol lay awake as well, trying to figure out what to do. Was she going to stay on her own or was she going to try. But if she was, she's do all out. Just being honest, truely telling him how she felt. On the other hand, he made it look quite easy to just leave her and not come back. Or did it really go that way? She hadn't heard his side of the story yet. "Daryl, what are you doing?"


	4. Chapter 4

She'd heard his footsteps coming toward her cell from a mile away. They stopped at her cell door. She recognised his breathing as well. Strong, heavy heaves. After that, things went quiet again for a good 15 minutes.  
"Daryl, what are you doing?", she whispered into the darkness. She was still laying in her bed underneath a blanket, but lifted up her head to see the celldoor and listen for an answer.  
"Couldn't sleep", he whispered back with a sigh. She couldn't see him, but by the way he spoke, she could hear him pulling up his shoulders, like he was impartial. But he wasn't, otherwise he wouldn't be sitting next to her celldoor for so long. "You?", he asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Why don't you come in?", she asked back. No need for him to be sitting outside and waking up the neighbours. He stood up, slipped the bedsheet to the side and hesitantly shuffled into her cell. "Didn't know if you're still talkin' to me. You seemed pretty pissed to see me this afternoon."  
She half sat up, still underneath the blanket, looking at him. She was very glad he was back, that he was near her again. But she still couldn't believe he would just pack up and leave without a word.

"Sit down...", she gestured toward her chair at the desk, which he turned around backward and sat down on. It was like he put up some sort of barriere between them. Like he wanted to be protected from what was coming from her.  
"Of course, I'm glad you're back. It's just, I was...you left and...you were gone, just like that." She had trouble looking him in the eye and finding the right words. In her head she knew, he didn't have to explain himself to her. Her heart feeling opposite emotions, like hurt and betrayal. He was looking at the ground, he too couldn't look straight at her. "Yeah, it was just the way it went. Sorry. I thought you'd understand...", he looked up at her, trying to explain how the conversation went after the rescue mission. "It wasn't like, I could come back to the prison first to say goodbye to everyone."  
"I know, I get that...", she shook her head no. She did get that. "I was just so shocked. Didn't expect it. Not from you... I've had a really shit week". Again, she had her head down and looked up to him, smiling apologetically. She didn't mean for him to get angry with her, but she did want to get her point across, he had hurt her by leaving. He glared at her. "It was a mistake." Her heart fluttered, was he really going to tell her, he came back for her?! Eyes bigger, she looked at him, willing the words out of his mouth. "Merle's an asshole, I couldn't stand him any longer. So I came back." _Merle?_ Great. She turned on her bed, laying on her back and stared at the bottom of the top bunk. It seemed all chances were out the window. Even with him here, he made it clear, he wasn't interested.

"It wasn't just Merle. I felt bad about leaving you, too. It was a mistake. I'll never it make again." There, he'd said it. He felt relieved. He looked at her through his hair, she turned her head toward him in surprise. Had she really no idea, what she'd meant to him all this time? In his own way, he had tried to tell her, but the words never came out right. She always flirted with him, so she must have sort of felt the same way? "I missed you...". He thanked God it was dark in the cell, so she couldn't see him blushing from ear to ear. She smiled, saw it on his face and returned the compliment. "I am really glad you're back. It wasn't the same without you." He thought he'd go out on a limb and give it a go: "did you miss me too?". "Yeah", she blushed just as red as he had. "yes, I did. A lot...", she confessed. He felt even more relieved; coming back to the prison was the best decision he had made in a long time. It was good to hear from her own mouth, it made him feel good inside. "That's good to hear", he said, getting up from the chair. "I'd better get back to bed. Long day tomorrow". "Yeah", she replied, looking up to him, waiting what was happening next. He stood still for a second, looking back at her, gave her a small nod and walked out. She exhaled a long sigh, when she was sure he couldn't hear her anymore. Wow, that was a change of events...! She lay in her bed, smiling at herself.

For a split second, when he looked down at her, he concidered giving her a kiss, but he tought that would be jumping the gun. Tomorrow was another day, so he walked off. But he had a lighter spring in his step before he reached his own cell.

The next day was indeed quite busy. There was a meeting to attend, safetystrategies to talk about. Daryl and a few others went on a short run to the local nursery to get some babythings for Judith, Merle to calm down and there was food to prepare for a lot of people. Carol had gone about her day, but every now and again, she felt like someone was looking at her and every time, she would look around and he would be there a little way away, doing whatever he was doing but still, he was looking at her. Even if it was just for two seconds. Sometimes, she'd smile at him. Sometimes he would smile at her or nod, sometimes one of them looked away.

That night Carol was tired, she went to sleep after a game of cards with Maggie. Sleep came fast. She woke up shortly after and again, she heard the familiar footsteps. It made her smile. He knocked on the bars softly and she let him in. He crouched next to her bunk. She didn't think he'd ever been that close to her. She could smell his breath. He'd been having a few drinks with Rick. He looked at her, eyes darting all over her face. "Just want to ask if you'd like a nightcap", he smiled, holding up two glasses and a bottle of whatever. "Sure, bring it on", she smiled, rubbing her eyes and sat up, propping up her pillow behind her back. He sat down on the bed with her, pouring the glasses. "Busy day?", he asked, giving her a glass. "It was ok", she said. They toasted. "Are we drinking to something?", she asked. He gave it some thought and said:"here's to life. To us." It made her smile, she'd never heard him say something so profound before. "Is there an "us"?" "I hope so...".


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sure by now you can see the pattern that was arising here. Most nights, Daryl would come by Carol's cell with some sort of excuse. Sometimes, he would invite her for a game or a drink. Sometimes he brought a gift he'd gotten her on a run, sometimes he just came for a talk. She really enjoyed those private moments they had together. Finally they both had an opportunity to talk about everything and anything; get to know eachother better. He surely was a diamond in the rough. During those nights, Carol saw a Daryl no one in the group had never seen before. Scared, sad, vulnurable. But also very funny and clever with dirty sarcastic jokes; which made Carol laugh so hard, she almost peed herself. During the day, they would keep an eye on eachother. See what the other was up to, noticing what their idiosyncrasies were. For instance, Carol learned, Daryl had a very particular way of loading the arrows on his crossbow. He would start over if they went on there the wrong way. Other than that they didn't have more contact during the day than necessary.

Of course the group noticed the changes between them. Daryl stepping out of Carol's cell at all hours of the night. Them getting more and more tired from not sleeping enough. Letting responsibilities slip. For now, they were excused. It made some people smile; they thought it was about time these two would get together.

They'd gotten close and more familiar with eachother. Carol was about to crash, she was so tired from not sleeping. Daryl couldn't get enough of those nights. He lived on adrenaline, it seemed. He loved to make Carol laugh. He loved to hear her talk of Sophia, with such love and care; it was like Carol talking about Sophia was making up for his own missed mother's love. During the day, he would look at the clock and be pissed it wasn't later. He was always looking forward to the evenings. So was Carol, it was just that she was at the end of her rope when it came to her energy.

So, when on a random night, Daryl stepped into Carol's cell again ( he had stopped knocking some time ago), he found her fast asleep, or so he thought. He stood there for a bit, watching her, deciding what to do. Sit on the chair for a while or leave for his own cell. He scratched his head and was about to turn around to leave, when Carol, who was on her side facing him, lift up the blanket a little bit, as an invitation to get in the bed with her. Wait, did he see that right? Was he reading this right, because if he didn't all hell would break loose. Carol opened one eye, she was too tired to talk and waved her hand about with the blanket still in it. Ok, so he had seen it right. Shit. What was he going to do now. This wasn't just a chat, this was intimate. He wasn't very good at "intimate". Hell, he could learn. Kicking off his shoes, he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the chair. Slowly he slid underneath the blanket next to her. Carol scoot over a little, to give him some room. He propped up a pillow underneath his head and for a while, they just lay there, facing eachother. Carol had her eyes closed; he was just staring at her sleeping. It was nice being this close. This was something he could get used to. Feeling another warm body close by, to hear someone breathing.

She looked sweet and peaceful, sleeping. Like she hadn't endured all that shit in her life. Lines on her face faded when she relaxed. It was a miracle she was still here and stronger for it. He had the utmost respect for the way she lead her life now. She was one tough chick. And he loved her for it. He loved the way she cared for the prison group, how she mothered over some of the kids who weren't even hers. He loved the way she stood up for herself and didn't take anybody's shit, including his. He had had a close call with her. He knew now after their talks, how much he had hurt her by going off with Merle. He knew now, she had his back. She was his, her heart was his, eventhough nothing had ever happened between them. It was an unspoken friendship. But he didn't just wanted to be her friend, or even a good friend.

She lay there and heard him come into her cell. She had expected him and thought she had a plan. By the time he was actually there she was afraid she was getting cold feet. So before she changed her mind, she lifted the blanket up and waited for him to make a move. He reacted instantly, which made her laugh inside. He lay next to her, close, but didn't touch her. She had kept her eyes closed, it was quite confronting for her to be this close to a man again. Men gave her a bad association. Hurt, pain, bruises and humiliation. Daryl was different. He had already shown numerous times he protected her, kept her safe. She knew Daryl would never intentionally hurt her physically. She fell asleep, feeling safe. And so did he, until first light. Both of them woke up because of the other. Both of them were so not used to sleeping against someone, it felt odd. "Oh, ...eh, sorry...", Daryl stammered, trying to pull his arm back from underneath her head. He had no idea how they got to where they were, but Carol was laying with her head on his chest and he had his arm around her. She quickly sat up, assuming he didn't want her there, saying: "heh, it's ok. Must have happened while we were sleeping..." She smiled. "Relax", she tried to reassure him, "no harm done. That was nice." She had enjoyed it, laying against him. Listening to his steady heartbeat, feeling his chest rise and fall. "Oh...", he stopped and did relax on the matress again. She put her head back where it just had been, just as he wrapped his arm back around her. They were both quiet. Each enjoying the experience for themselves.

Time passed too quickly for the both of them and the day started in the prison. Getting up, Daryl already knew he would get looks from whomever was in the commonroom. Carol's cell was right smack in the middle of the hall. He untangled himself from Carol, sat on the edge of the bed and began tying his shoes and putting his shirt back on. Carol got up too and by the time he wanted to step outside, he looked back at her. She smiled at him and asked with a sweet voice: "see you again tonight?" "Hmm, sure will", he responded quickly and nodded, gave her that cute smirk, she liked so much. "Will you shower before...?", she teased him with an even broader smile. "Ha ha, very funny", he said with an unapproving look on his face.

And sure enough, the next night, when the prison was quiet, he showed up again. Carol had been waiting for him, laying in the darkness, quite excited what tonight was going to bring. His hair had still been wet and combed back. Clean set of clothes on. He smelled like roses.


	6. Chapter 6

Night after night, he came to her. Slipped into her bed at the dead of night. And he even dared keeping less clothes on. The cells were hot at night. And sleeping together in one bed made it even worse. But both of them revelled in eachothers company; they didn't care. Daryl had brought some of his things over to Carol's cell. He'd left some shirts, underwear and socks in her closet. The first time she saw the little pile, she was taken aback. It was allright with her though, she didn't mention it to him. It added to their "togetherness", no matter how fragile it was at that moment. Because after all, all they did was sleep in the same bed. Sometimes, they unintentionally touched, but neither mind. But they hadn't sought each other. Yet.

One night, one of the first nights they got into the bed together, rather than Daryl sneaking in later, Carol was talking in her sleep, said things she never had said to him. It was about him and how she felt about him. About losing him. It was a very distressing dream, Carol had twitched and writhed in the bed, waking him up with the first words she mumbled. He tried comforting her, but it wouldn't wake her up. She seemed to be in some sort of sleep-limbo. Maybe she was even hallucinating due to lack of sleep. But he listened and listened well. It scared him to know he meant so much to her, how afraid she was of losing him. On the other hand, he was glad he now knew, it made him feel good. Would people lie in their sleep?

He sat up, shushed her, put his arms around her, while she woke up and cried and cried. She had no idea why. She couldn't remember the dream, just the feeling it gave her. It was still dark in the prison. She pushed herself against his chest, grateful he was with her. He stroked her head, wiped the tears away from her cheek. He just couldn't bear seeing her in pain, no matter what kind. He wanted it to be gone from her, to leave her alone and make her happy in some shape or form.

Holding her head, he lift up her chin and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. Then on the temple and then he pulled his head back a bit, to read her reactions. She was still pretty shaky and at first it didn't even register with her he was kissing her. He repeated what he'd just done. She looked up at him, with a "finally, you're getting it!?" expression on her face. She had hoped he would catch on, sleeping in her bed. He must have known for God's sake, it wasn't something she would do with just anyone.

Finally, after all those nights, she had been working up to this moment. It had allowed her the time to get used to him. Him being a man. A man that could be trusted. A man that wouldn't use and abuse her. Him being someone she wanted to be with and babysteps is what it took. It was exciting and scary at the same time.

She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. He seemed terrified but just as excited as she was. Hesitantly he brought his head down and kissed her again on the temple, then the cheek. She turned her head towards him and softly they kissed. There were the butterflies again, tumbling around in her stomach. It felt strange, another man's lips on hers. His stubble tickled her. It was just a short kiss, but it lingered for too long to just be friendly. Pulling apart, they looked eachother in the eyes and came in for a second kiss. This one was far more passionate. She couldn't hold back anymore. She poured all her love and care into it, she wanted him to feel he was loved, that she wanted this. Badly. She noticed him being scared off by her. She came on a bit too hard, maybe. After they parted, both of them looked away. Carol sat upright, legs pulled up, stroking her arms. She wasn't sure what to do next. She was a bit embarrased she'd let herself go like that.

She looked over her shoulder at him. He did the exact opposite. Laying down, with his arms behind his head. Like he was ready for her, whatever she wanted. Which wasn't true. He was just trying to play it cool. Like kissing the woman you cared for was something he did on a daily basis. When in reality, his heart was almost jumping out of his chest. He had no idea what to do with a woman, really. He had hardly any experience with them.

She thought she'd give it another go. Laying next to him on her side, she looked at him. He turned sideways to face her. This time, she stroked his face and kissed him again. He recieved her, welcomed her, put his left arm around her and stroked her back. Lips parting and tongues touching must have been the most alien feeling for both of them. Tasting someone else after so long, made him more excited than he wanted to admit. He was losing his cool and he knew it. His erection grew with every tonguestroke she gave him. He could feel her breast brushing against his arm, which only heightened his excitement. It was too much. He tried to think of other things. Things that weren't exciting, like roadkill or Mickey Mouse. But it was no use; he couldn't hold it in anymore and felt himself release. Quickly he pulled away from Carol. "Fuck, fuck, fuck...nononono...", was all he could think. He scared Carol who had no idea what just happened. "What's wrong?", she asked, eyebrows up.

"Nuthin'...I, eh...I gotta go", he lied, getting up from the bed, hiding the wet patch on his boxers. He bent forward and almost ran out of the cell, leaving Carol bewildered.

In the next days, he had convinced himself she'd figured out what had happened. He was so extremely embarassed, he didn't dare face her. Carol had tried to approach him several times, but he'd come up with an excuse on every occasion to not having to talk to her, leaving her even more confused and angry. To her suprise even the pile of Daryl's things had disappeared from her closet, like he had just stepped out of her life.


	7. Chapter 7

For a couple of days, she figured she'd give him some time. It was obvious he was spooked about something. Them. Or her. She had no idea. He didn't say anything, just ran off. She went about her business in and around the prison, all the while keeping an eye out for him. See what he was up to, maybe she could figure out what had happened. But she couldn't. She felt avoided like the plague. At some point her understanding faltered. What was up with this man? What was up with her for putting up with this? She became agitated and angry. Grow up, she thought. This isn't highschool anymore. Enough, she was going to talk to him and get this out the way. They had a nice thing going! A few times she tried to approach him around the prison. When he saw her coming, she could tell his eyes darted; he looked for the nearest exit and made a run for it. When he didn't see her coming, it was obvious he didn't want to talk to her and made an excuse to leave, be it audiable or not. She had had enough of these shenanigans. Time to become an adult.

He'd spend most of his days in hiding. Either outside the prison, he went hunting, or was in his cell, where his whole demeanor was he wanted to be left alone. He was rummiging around his stuff when he heard a tap on the bars. "Go away, I'm busy..."; he snarled looking back at the celldoor. "I can tell", Carol replied sarcastically, while she stepped inside, blocking the way out. She wasn't going to let him get away this time. He lift up his head, knew he was trapped and this time, he couldn't escape her.  
"So. Are you going to talk to me, or what?", she started. Might as well jump straight in. A confrontation with Daryl was never fun; she came prepared. "Or what...", he mumbled with his back to her, head down. "Well, I thought we had a nice thing going. You just ran off without a word. And now you won't talk to me. Have I done something wrong?" Of course this was Carol. Thinking she was the one who had done wrong. His heart shrank with the idea, she took this upon herself. He was still so embarassed. He prayed for a hole to appear in the little cell, that would just swallow him up. "No". He didn't elaborate. "Did I hurt you?" "No." "Did I come on too strong, did I go too fast?" "NO." "Are you mad at me?" "NO! Well, I am gettin' now, woman, with your damn questions! ... just leave me alone..." He had started pacing the cell in front of her. He was getting more nervous and agitated. She was convinced at some point he would dive out of the cell to escape her. Beads of sweat appeared on his brow. She observed him better. Wringing his hands together, walking in circles, sweating. "So, what the hell is going on then, why are you avoiding me?", she asked tilting her head. She spoke softly. She wasn't going to scream at him, it would only make him retreat more. Standing still, he took a deep breath. His broad shoulders going up and down, like he was drinking in courage. "Was it too hard for you? To be with me." No, yeah, kinda...", was as close as he dared to come to the truth. Like hell was he going to admit to this, he'd never dare look her in the eye again. "Didn't you enjoy it?" "I did". "Did you enjoy it too much?", finally she felt like she was onto something, she took a step toward him, her hand reaching out for him. She tried her hardest not to laugh, not making it worse then it already was for him.  
"Shiiiit...", just shaking his head no, he didn't have to admit to anything. His face was as red as a tomato. "Just leave me be, woman!" In one stroke, he pushed her out the way and stalked out the cell.

She knew enough. Was that all? He came too soon? Big deal! Checking if he couldn't hear her, she laughed and laughed. Poor man. She was alright with this. He had no idea what to do, so he just pretended it never happened. Ostrich-method; sticking his head in the sand. She didn't follow him. She figured she'd give him a few more hours, then try again. She wasn't going to let something like this push them apart. They were living during an apocalypse for Christ's sake. This was anything but important.

When darkness fell, she got up from her bunk. She hadn't seen him all evening, had no idea what he'd been up to other than hiding. She made the walk from her cell to his. All seemed quiet, people were either asleep or winding down. She sat down against the barred door of his cell, which was dark inside. She knew he was there. She knew he had heard her coming.

"Carol, what are you doin'?", he whispered into the darkness. He was laying on his bed, arm propped under his head. He lifted up his head to see the celldoor and listen for an answer.  
"It's okay, you know", she whispered into the dark. "Come in, please, no one needs to hear this...", he said mortified, coming up from his bed. She stood up and strolled into the cell. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "There's really no need to be embarassed. I'm actually kinda flattered...", she smiled a small smile. "Enough, please", he pleaded with her. "Ok, enough", she bent foward and gave him a small kiss. At her first three attempts he didn't dare return her affection. After the fourth kiss he couldn't contain himself any longer and grabbed her by the waist to pull her half on top of him.  
They never spoke of it again.


End file.
